Sports Centre: Animation Edition 2!
by Voltage Axe
Summary: Again, a parody of that famous show on ESPN! This time, more random and funny things happen and a NEW "Ultimate S.C." parody segment! R&R!


**SPORTS CENTRE: Animation Edition #2 – Funniest Blooper Reels Edition!**

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**(Previews of snippets of funny blooper reel scenes)**

**Announcer: **_**This is Sports Centre.**_

**Sonny: **Tonight, on the special episode of Sports Centre!...The most funniest bloopers, starting from when Bart lost his swimming trunks during the Summer Olympics…(shows Bart running out of the pool severely embarrassed, hiding his crotch), to when Bender loses his shiny, metal can…(**Bender:** Yeah? You can bite my shiny, metal… (Bender then notices his "metal ass" is missing…) **OH NOOOOO!!...**) so "_blow up your video_" (A scene shows a TV exploding), and get ready to laugh out loud as we show you the funniest sports bloopers on Sports Centre!

(A bunch of funny blooper scenes are shown quickly, as the Sports Centre theme song plays then finishes; cut to where the sports newsmen are)

**Announcer: **_Here are your hosts for tonight's Sports Centre, Kevin Chiu and Sonny Ing._

**Kevin: **Hello folks and welcome to tonight's special edition of Sports Centre. Since tonight is a special episode, we have a special guest. My younger, athletic brother, Paul Chiu!

**Sonny: **For those who are out there and knew Paul, he just called saying he's caught in a traffic jam.

**Kevin: **(cough) Embarrassing! (cough)

**Sonny**: Today's special edition of Sports Centre (for short, "The S.C.") is "Sport's History of the Funniest Blooper Reels!"

**Kevin**: On the Top 10 of the world's most funniest and embarrassing bloopers is Number 10 – "The Pair Figure Skating Nationals with Jimmy (James) McElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels."

**Sonny**: (to Kevin) why is this embarrassing?

**Kevin**: Well, because we have never seen two men in the pair figure skating division, before or in sports history!

( RING RING RING RING! (x2) )

**Sonny**: Kevin, is that your phone? You have the worst ring tone ever…

**Kevin**: Please excuse me for one sec…(flips up cell phone and dials in) Hello? Paul? WHAT THE F--K? YOU'RE STUCK IN THE GOD DAMN TRAFFIC?!

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(AT THE HIGHWAY)

**Paul**: Come on! Damn it, YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE, SO SHUT UP! YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE GOD DAMN TRAFFIC AROUND HERE! THE F--K IS WRONG WITH YOU! (lowers cell phone for a moment) MOVE, DAMN IT! MOVE! (honks horn, then raises up cell phone to ear)

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(AT THE STUDIO)

**Kevin: **WHAT THE F--K IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHAT THE F--K IS WRONG WITH YOU?! MY GOD, I HAVE NEVER…

**Sonny: **(still sitting on the leather chair facing the camera; Kevin screams at his brother over the cell phone in the background) Ahem…sorry for that little tiff, ladies and gentlemen. I am continuing this Top 10 right now. Heading on to Number 9, the 1999 LPGA Open Championship at the Silver Meadows Golf Club Course. Jiraiya-sama, or should I say Ero-Sannin, was a birdie away from taking the Championship. Instead, this embarrassing moment came in, in irony.

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(--VIDEO PLAYS--)

**Golf Announcer: **Here's the Ero-Sannin, Jiraiya, taking his shot. He is a stone's throw away from making the cut, and winning the championship. Here comes the swing. The crowd and he look tense. Here he goes…the swing.

(Jiraiya suddenly swings the golf club hard, missing the golf ball. Instead, the golf club flies off of his hands and flies away, hitting a person with a big "OUCH!" and a loud thump off-screen.)

(Crowd gasps)

**Golf Announcer: **OH MY GOD! HE'S KILLED KENNY!

**Kyle:** (somewhere in the crowd) YOU BASTARD!

**Jiraiya: **Uhhhhhh…bye!

(Jiraiya summons Gamabunta and flees off, before the crowd can react)

(--VIDEO ENDS--)

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**Sonny: **Another death to Kenny, first time off screen! Boy, what an embarrassing moment for the "Pervy Sage"! (a la Doug Heffernan) Son of a mother!

(Kevin can be still heard arguing with his brother over the phone OUT LOUD)

**Sonny:** (sees Kevin arguing, then faces to the camera) Uhhhhhh….We'll be right back!

**Announcer: **This special edition of Sports Centre is brought you by, Honda. "The power of nightmares." (evil laughter sound effect plays)

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(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

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**Announcer: **This programme is brought you by Scotiabank, "You're poorer than you think!" and by Toyota, "Making Things Worse".

**Sonny:** 'ello, sports fans and welcome back. I see Kevin has finished his argument with Paul over the phone.

**Kevin: **(sitting down) Yeah, it better be finished! Did you know what Paul called me over the phone?

**Sonny:** What?

**Kevin: **(out loud) A DOUCHEBAG!

**Sonny:** Um, Kevin I think people heard ya already. And I think that word wasn't, you know, censored. And we're on live TV right now…

**Kevin: **Whatever. The point is I don't think Paul will be appearing in this episode.

**Sonny:** Alright, then. Kevin, present Number 8 of the Top 10, then.

**Kevin: **We passed Number 9? Alright. Number 8…the 2004 Summer Animation Olympics at Athens, Greece. Bart Simpson, the 12-year old pro swimmer prodigy was severely embarrassed in the 1000M Men's Breastroke. Although he won the gold medal…well, let's see what went wrong.

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(--VIDEO OF THE OLYMPIC EVENT PLAYS--)

**Sports Announcer #1: **And there goes Bart Simpson, on his way to getting the 5th gold medal in the 1000M Men's Breastroke event!

**Sports Announcer #2: **BUT WAIT! What's floating on the middle of the pool?

**Sports Announcer #1:** Is that…_his swimming trunks_?

(Bart suddenly realizes he doesn't have his swimming shorts on, so he runs out of the pool deck, covering his crotch while running to the changing room being really embarrassed; the spectators laugh at Bart really loud as he rushes to the room)

**Sports Announcer #1:** Oh boy…

(--VIDEO ENDS--)

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**Kevin:** Now, wasn't that funny, Sunny?

**Sonny:** It sure is funny as hell! Onto Number 7, and—oop! I just got an update! Ladies and gentlemen, it seems to appear that Paul _will _be appearing in this show! He just wants to apologize to Kevin for being a motherf--ker.

**Kevin:** Well, look who's saying sorry now, eh?

**Sonny: **Huh, un! Well, heading on to Number 7 of the Top Ten anyway, the 2006 Billiards Championship Finals between Deidara and Kisame. Well, you can't go wrong with one Akatsuki member battling against another in a game of snooker. Too bad Deidara launched an explosive clay billiard ball right at one of the cameramen broadcasting this event through one of the sports networks (and NO, it wasn't the network we're broadcasting S.C. in). What a big bang it was, un!

**Kevin: **Agreed! At Number 6, the unthinkable happened during the 2004 World Series of Baseball at the Wrigley Field! Red Sox batter Uzumaki Naruto batting against New York Yankee pitcher Hank Hill. (camera moves to face Kevin beside a 20" plasma TV display showing the event) Now as you can see here, the score is tied at 5, bases are loaded, there are two outs, 3 balls, and two strikes for the batter. OK, now look what happened when Naruto is about to swing the bat after Hank pitches the ball. OH, and there goes the back catcher! It's pretty clear that Naruto had let a big rip (or fart) when he was about to swing the bat! Boston wins the World Series by four balls, because of Naruto!

**Sonny: **Heading on to Number 5 of the Top Ten, the 37th NFL Super Bowl: New England Patriots vs. Miami Dolphins. Homer Simpson of the Patriots receives the football from the kick-off during the play in the 4th quarter of the game, the score tied at 30. However that was not the case, as the play progresses, with each Patriot offence player laterally passing the football at each other rushing to the touchdown spot. Suddenly, with Chief Wiggum—the only Patriot to possess the football—sees the oncoming marching band of a Floridian university running onto the field with the band thinking that the game was already over. Wiggum then tackles down a trombonist really hard down to the ground, as he makes the TD. It seems like a repeat of "The Play" between Stanton and California University.

**Kevin: **And it is! Here's the audio clip from the game broadcasted on ESPN, our big brother U.S. equivalent of our network.

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(--AUDIO CLIP PLAYS--)

**ESPN Commentator #1:** And now, the score is tied at 30. Miami Dolphins kick-off the football with 15 seconds to go in the 4th quarter. Homer Simpson catches the ball. Now he's running, under pressure here. Oh! And the football comes loose, but another Patriot possesses it! Lateral passing to each other through the defence, at the 30…the 20…OH AND THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD! THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD! TOUCHDOWN! THERE ARE FLAGS ALL OVER THE PLACE! OOH WHAT A GAME!

**ESPN Commentator #2: **CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

(--AUDIO CLIP ENDS--)

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**Kevin:** We sure do! We'll be back for the rest of the Top 10 and more! Don't go away!

**Announcer: **This special edition of Sports Centre is brought you by: Ridata. "Always wrong…"

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(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

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**Announcer:** This Sports Centre is brought you by Bell Canada, "Making It Difficult".

**Kevin: **Welcome back to Sports Centre, sports fans. We are at Number 4 of the Top 10 right now. Now, number 4 of the Top 10 Most Funniest Sports Bloopers on TV is one of the most funniest you've ever seen on television. The 1998 Formula One Championship Race saw #20 McClaren driver Spongebob Squarepants battling against #65 Ferrari driver Patrick Star in a rivalry battle to the finish line. Little did Patrick know that there was a sharp turn up ahead before the finish line on the straightaway, and that he was distracted. Here's the video clip.

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(--VIDEO CLIP OF F1 CHAMPIONSHIP RACE PLAYS--)

**F1 Race Commentator: **And here's Spongebob and Patrick, battling side by side for who's going to win in the San Marino Speed Course! Here goes the sharp turn, and…

(ERRK! CRASH!!)

**F1 Race Commentator: **GREAT BON SCOTT! Patrick Star loses it at the final turn, and crashes really hard into the tire wall, causing the car to also explode on fire! OH, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, FOR OVER 25 YEARS OF FORMULA ONE RACING, I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A DEVASTATING CRASH LIKE THIS!

(Patrick Star gets out of his totalled, mangled up, F1 car and runs around in circles screaming while on fire as emergency crews put the blaze out on the car)

(--VIDEO ENDS--)

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**Sonny: **…And Spongebob wins the Championship of the Formula One! He's lucky that his good friend (and race rival) Patrick was OK. Now, heading to the Top 3 of the Top 10, Number 3 saw the World Curling Championships of 1995 really funny. The one game (Canada vs. Japan) saw humorous incidents from the first end. Both firsts slipped when letting the curling rock go. Then, it all got hazy, I don't know…

**Kevin:** You're not good at remembering things, are ya?

**Sonny:** (Sarcastic) duh, I don't know!

**Kevin: **Oh well. Before we get to Number 1, here's Number 2! The 1991 Tour de France! Yellow jersey mountain bike rider Edward Elric squares off against white jersey, mountain bike rider Bugs Bunny. But the question is who won the race? No one. At the final stretch, before the finish line (at the last leg of the last round), the two try to reach the finish line first with the pack behind them in a short distance. But if we know how cartoon clichés work, it would be that one guy trips over a rock, causing a domino effect to a large number of people behind him. That would be the case for the Tour de France. Such a pile of mountain bicycles and pro bike riders. (shakes head slowly) Such a tragedy…

**Sonny: **And now, the moment you've been waiting for! The Number 1 of the Top 10 Funniest Bloopers and Moments of Sports History, Animation-styled! The 1990 NASCAR Anime/Cartoon Cup Series! After winning the Daytona Sunset 500, #03 driver Peter Griffin was questioned by the media during the post-race conference. But when he was asked about his weight, well let's just say he's really ticked off.

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(--VIDEO PLAYS--)

**Press Interviewer: **Mr. Griffin! Do you ever noticed that you're still fat, even after going around in an oval track for 400 laps in hot, uncomfortable weather?

**Peter Griffin:** Hey! I don't need no f--king retard a--holes to ask me about retaining my f--king weight after that race! I am really p--sed off at people who call me fat, even if I sweat a lot racing a car for a million dollars! Whaddya gotta say now, d--khead motherf--king n--er press? B--ches!

**Press Interviewers and Reporters: **…

(--VIDEO ENDS--)

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**Sonny:** Now, THAT was not pretty!

**Kevin: **It wasn't pretty back then, it wasn't pretty right now.

**Sonny:** Speaking of which, I have just received updates that Paul will INDEED guest host in the Sports Centre. He just said a few minutes ago, he's now ten minutes away from appearing in this show.

**Kevin:** And that just gives us time for the "Ultimate S.C."!

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(--ULTIMATE S.C. SEGMENT PLAYS--)

( "Ain't No Fun (Waiting Round To Be A Millionaire)" by AC/DC plays )

(Ultimate S.C. intro plays)

(Lisa Simpson and Marge Simpson (in pairs for a women's pair's tennis game) squares off against Haruno Sakura and Yakanama Ino. Both pairs battle each other, then Marge fires a point shot, but the tennis ball hits a cameraman)

**Tennis Commentator: **OH! And there goes the camera dude! What a shame for the network that hired this guy to cover the action! (Instant replay shows)

_The following is a true story_

_Only the names have been changed _

_To protect the guilty_

(Next scene changes to a NHL hockey game. Boston Bruin Chris Griffin gets slammed by Ottawa Senator Uchiha Sasuke into the glass really hard; shards of glass fly and hit Chris' face. He screams as he is bleeding)

_Well I left my job in my home town_

_And I headed for the smoke_

_Got a rock 'n' roll band and a fast right hand_

_Gonna get to the top_

_Nothing's gonna stop us, no nothing_

(While the song plays, another clip starts playing. A left-front tire slips off of the #24 Ford Focus WRC Rally car, which spins out of control and hits a tree)

**WRC Rally Commentator: **Now, I pity the fool who didn't put in that tire real tight…

(Camera moves to show Bobby Hill, the tire changer for the Team #24 Pit Crew terrified. He then runs away from the scene.)

**Hank Hill:** (depressed sigh) that boy ain't right.

_So if you've got the money, we've got the sound_

_You put it up and we'll put it down_

_If you've got the dollar, we've got the song_

_Just wanna boogie woogie all night long_

_Yeah boogie_

(Scene changes to Raptors player, Stewie Griffin, tripping over a tall Nets player in a NBA game)

(Referee blows the whistle)

**Nets Player: **Yo, you tripped me! That's a foul dude!

**Stewie Griffin: **Oh, please. You always complainin' around, arguin' with yo momma!

**Nets Player: **Yeah? At least my mom is not uglier than yours!

**Stewie Griffin:** Oh, shut the f--k up bitch!

_I got holes in my shoes_

_I got holes in my teeth_

_I got holes in my socks_

_I can't get no sleep_

_I'm trying to make a million_

(Next video clip shows. Road Runner is about to win a 100 KM marathon in Canada. Peter Griffin (in his car) suddenly runs Road Runner over)

**Peter Griffin: **What was that?

_And I got patches on the patches_

_On my old blue jeans_

_Well they used to be blue_

_When they used to be new_

_When they used to be clean_

**Wile E. Coyote: **That was nothing. Keep driving.

(Next clip shows Goku getting hit in the "Dragon Balls" by a rocketing fast softball; the spectators groan disgustingly at the sight of this, while Goku is holding his nuts in pain)

_But I've got a Mumma who's a hummer_

_Just keeping me alive_

_While I'm in the band doing drinking with the boys_

_She's working 9 to 5_

_She knows her place that woman_

_Just you wait_

_One of these days see me driving round town_

_In my Rock 'n' Rolls Royce with the sun roof down_

_My bottle of booze, no summer time blues_

_Shouting out, "Look at me"_

_In my rock 'n' roll voice_

(S.C. video transition effect plays, then shows an AHL hockey game between the Marlies and the Crunch. Brian Griffin of the Marlies tries to shoot a laser slap shot to score a goal. He does this, but the laser slap shot flies through the ceiling, and then brings down a satellite. The satellite crashes into the stadium, killing some people watching the game)

_No it ain't no fun, yeah_

_Waiting round to be a millionaire_

_No it ain't no fun_

_Waiting round to be a millionaire_

(Video then shows a soccer game between Liverpool and Chelsea. Liverpool player Renton Thurston kicks the soccer ball real hard, sent flying towards a flying seagull, killing it)

**Soccer Game-goers:** GASP!

_Do you believe me?_

_It ain't no fun, no_

_Waiting round to be a millionaire_

_It ain't no fun, I don't care what they say_

_Waiting round to be a millionaire_

(Short S.C. transition video effect cuts to video of a bowling tournament. Philip J. Fry rolls the ball into the bowling lane, and gets a strike. However, the bowling ball does not return when falling into the returning lane. A few seconds later, the bowling ball launches right out of the hole, killing Scratchy with a quick-speed headshot)

_Drive a Rolls Royce car_

_No it ain't no fun, and you know it_

_Waiting round to be a millionaire_

_No, no, no, no , no, no, no_

_No, ain't no fun_

_Waiting round to be a millionaire_

(Scene changes to the 1998 MCALB All-Star Game, where Team American batter Apu Nahasapasapeemopetilon swings the bat real hard. The ball flies straight in the air, and then drops on one of a game attendee's beer cup. The beer splashes at his face)

**All-Star Game Commentator:** AND IT'S A GRAND SALAMI! Too bad for the guy who was sitting in the stands, losing his beer! Ah, but he'll be lucky to have caught a "Grand Slammin'" baseball!

(Guitar comes in, a S.C. video transition effect plays for a few seconds, then the lyrics kick in)

_Got a million dollar scream_

_But it ain't no fun, (ain't no fun), oh no_

_No it ain't no fun, (ain't no fun), that's what I said_

_But it ain't no fun, (ain't no fun), and I wanna be rich_

_No it ain't no fun, (ain't no fun), ain't no fun digging this bitch_

_Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire, you better believe me_

_Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire_

_Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire_

_No it ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire_

_No it ain't no fun (ain't no fun)_

_No it ain't no fun (ain't no fun)_

_I ain't having no fun (ain't no fun)_

_No it ain't no fun (ain't no fun)_

_Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire, no no_

_Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire_

_Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire_

_No it ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire_

(While the lyrics are sung as the song continues, a CFL football game between the Argos and Allouettes is shown. Argos player Porky Pig gets the football then runs for it. He gets tackled by so many football players at the 20-yard line. He is hit so much; he had small Tweety Birds flying around his forehead while being bruised and hurt. Next sports video is shown. Binky Barnes, from Team U.S.A. competes in a 1000 lbs weightlifting contest in the 2000 Animation Summer Olympics. He struggles to make it, but he lifts it up however not before he rips his pants open to the spectators. He drops the weights and runs away, crying)

_Hey Hello Howard, how ya doin'?_

_Next door neighbour..._

_Oh yeah... Get your fuckin' jumbo jet off my airport!_

(Two fans of the Canadiens cheer out loud, but get pummelled by giant Maple Leaf fans)

_(Ain't no fun, ain't no fun)_

_No it ain't no fun, (ain't no fun)_

_Hey it ain't no fun, (ain't no fun)_

_No it ain't no fun, (ain't no fun)_

_Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire_

_Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire_

_No it ain't no fun, no it ain't no fun, ain't no fun_

_(Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire)_

_(Ain't no fun...)_

(Short S.C. video transitional effect, then cuts to some number of fans of sports teams dancing and cheering, and having a good 'ol time in these sports games. Final scene then plays…)

(4 huge men, with their bodies letter-painted, with the letters spelling out "TITS" are cheering on their favourite team playing in a game)

**The four guys: **YEEEEEAAAHHHH!

(The other two guys show up)

**The first guy with the letter "T" painted on his body:** Hey "A" and "N"! You're late!

**One of the two guys that showed up late: **Did we miss anything?

**The first guy:** NO YOU DIDN'T!

(The two guys then join in with the four, all of the letters painted on their bodies now spell out "TITANS")

**All six fans: **GOOO TITANS!

(--ULTIMATE S.C. ENDS--)

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**Announcer: **This Ultimate S.C. is brought you by: Xbox 360. "Jump Out!"

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(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

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**Sonny:** Welcome back, sports fans. Guess who's in the show now?

**Kevin:** It's my brother…Paul!

**Paul: **Wassup, y'all?

**Kevin:** (Notices the time on the clock) UH-OH! That's all the time we have for now on Sports Centre!

**Paul:** WHAT THE F--K?!

(Kevin then smashes a chair on Paul's head. Paul is knocked out from the blow)

**Kevin: **Tune in next week, for another Sports Centre!

**Sonny: **For the people living and well, and are watching this, I'm Sonny Ing…

**Kevin:** …and Kevin Chiu…

**Sonny: **…wishing you happy holidays and have a great Christmas!

**Both:** GOOD NIGHT!

(APPLAUSE; Sonny and Kevin survey the unconscious body of Paul on the ground)

THE END!

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own the mentioned cartoons, animes, movies, product brands, sports teams, sports leagues, sports events, AC/DC, and Sports Centre. Sports Centre is from TSN, a sports network owned by CTV globemedia and ESPN Inc. Original U.S. version of Sports Centre is from ESPN, owned and operated by ESPN Inc. along with its family of networks.


End file.
